What is rejection sensitivity?

Many people with ADHD experience this, but others can too.

Young woman looking lonely and separate from the two people happily talking behind her.
Rejection sensitivity means a strong emotional reaction to rejection or criticism.
You might feel very ashamed and upset.
Or you could feel very angry and defensive.
Most people find rejection and criticism unpleasant, but it doesn’t affect their life much.
If it does have a big impact on your life, it is called Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, or RSD for short.
People with RSD can find these feelings very overwhelming and painful.
You might always feel on high alert, looking for signs you’re being rejected or criticised.
You might assume people are rejecting or criticising you when they’re not.
You might try to avoid situations where you think you could be rejected or criticised at all.
You could miss out on great experiences and opportunities because of this.
These things can make you lonely or depressed.
People with ADHD often experience RSD.
You don’t have to have ADHD to experience RSD, though.

What does rejection sensitivity feel like?

Rejection sensitivity feels different for everyone.
You might feel strong emotions like sadness or anger.
You might find it hard to stop thinking about the rejection or criticism.
You might feel strong feelings in your body, like a fast heartbeat, feeling dizzy or chest pain.
Get tips and advice on how to handle rejection sensitivity:

How to handle rejection sensitivity

'Rejection sensitivity' is a term that describes a strong emotional reaction to rejection or criticism.

You might feel ashamed and upset, and shut down. Or you could feel angry and defensive, and explode.

Some people describe it as intense emotional pain.

overwhelmed person

Everyone finds rejection difficult, but when it has a big impact on your life, it is called Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD). It is often associated with ADHD but people with other needs can experience it too.

As well as experiencing feelings of rejection or criticism strongly, you’re likely also on high alert for being rejected or criticised, and can interpret things that way when that’s not what’s really happening.

Young woman looking unhappily at her phoneExample scenario:

You send a message to a friend, but they don’t respond all day.

If you have high rejection sensitivity, you might take this personally and worry that the person hasn’t responded because they don’t like you, or you did something wrong.

You don’t actually know if these things are true, but you feel really bad, like you would if they really did reject you.

You might find yourself avoiding situations where you think there’s any risk at all that you could be rejected or criticised, because you find it so painful. But as a result, you could become very socially isolated and miss out on great opportunities and experiences. You could become depressed and anxious too.

What does rejection sensitivity feel like?

Rejection sensitivity feels different to everyone. Here are some common themes (click on them to learn more):

extreme emotional response

You could feel many emotions, like anxiety, shame, sadness, anger, or a mixture. The common theme is that these emotions are very intense, and affect you more strongly than they do those with low rejection sensitivity.

Some people feel suicidal in the moment, or have self-harm urges.

strong feelings in the body

Many people feel physical sensations in their body. This could be crying, feeling hot or blushing, feeling a ‘lump’ in your throat, pain or aching feelings in the chest, fast heartbeat, or feeling dizzy.

overthinking the rejection or criticism

A person with high rejection sensitivity may overthink the situation where they experienced rejection, and feel emotions for a long time afterwards. This makes it difficult to forget about it and move on.

If you have high rejection sensitivity, read our how to handle rejection sensitivity page for some useful tips and advice.